OK, guys, the omniscient narrator takes over from here on out: I'm sweating in a feed bag, for god's sake!!

Rambo understood the import of this moment. Teacher needed help--and quickly!! Yet this was one of those rare opportunities in life: a chance to empower all the animals, even the small and meek. How many chances would the Catskill Animal Sanctuary residents have, after all, to rescue a human?

Rambo strode deliberately to the Bunny Barn, where Trix, the most fragile of all, was tucked between a warm bale of hay and the barn wall, napping peacefully.

"Trix," Rambo whispered as, in order to appear as small as possible, he lay in front of the tiny rabbit.

"R-R-R-RAMBO!" Trix stammered. "What are you d-d-d-doing here?"

"Trix," Rambo paused. He didn't want to startle the tiny animal. "Teacher's in trouble. I need your help."

Trix's large pink eyes grew larger and pinker as Rambo told the story, the last line of which was "and the hay room's locked."

"What can I d-do?" Trix stuttered. "I'm only a b-b-bun-n-ny."

Rambo was unphased. "The problem," he explained matter-of-factly, "is that none of us have hands. "And hands are what one needs to manipulate a lock." (Rambo often pondered the fact that the world seemed designed for the convenience and enjoyment of humans at the expense of their animal brethren.)

"R-RIGHT!" Trix exclaimed with relief. "I DON'T HAVE HANDS!"

"No, Rabbit, you don't," Rambo continued with consummate patience. "But you have teeth, and you have feet."

TO BE CONTINUED.